George,

One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of
you, is to sit down at the dinner table, only to be interrupted by a
phone call from a telemarketer. Here's how one person found a way to
be just as irritating to them. The call was from AT&T and it went
like this:

<snip!>

AT&T: (click)

There is a service called Jolly Roger...which is $12 a year. They have
"good bots" that will handle all these telemarketers, tying them up with thinking they're going to get you to buy a product. Not to worry...these
bots will never agree to any purchase, but it keeps the telemarketers
tied up, taking away the time when they could call someone else.

With the auto insurance and warranty, I may tell them "I don't have a
car" (and that may soon be true for me). Or I thought asking about a
bicycle or a unicycle.

Never been pulled out for an extra survey since!

You've got a rep-pew-tation now. <G>

I tried to explain they were calling a number I use for work. They
didn't care, so I stopped caring about being compliant. . (turnabout
is fair play, yes?)

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Or let out this huge belch, fart, or gag...making it like you're sick
as a dog. Or like one couple did, go full bore into love making, with
all the orgiastic sounds, etc. you could think of. <G>

Daryl

... Deja Coup: A feeling that we've overthrown this regime before
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--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

Ifg they use my name like a bright & cheery, "Good afternon, Mr. Pope,
how are you doing today?"

I reply, with sadrop dead tone, "Broke."

I think I'll use that...although I've been answering the phone with
"The Thunderbolt BBS Voice Support Line". <G>

The professionals thank mew, wish me a good say & hang up.

Works for me.

The newbies follow their response sheet &tr to keep me talking, as
they're convinced they can talk me into the sale.

There's a deal called "Jolly Roger Telephone" (I forget the URL offhand,
but for one line, it's $12 a year). They have "good bots" that will handle these telemarketers for you, and will NEVER agree to a purchase. What they basically do is keep these scammers tied up, so it takes away from them
making other calls.

After a sufficient time (20-30+ minutes) I stop them & let them know
they could've had a sale or three in the time we've been talking since
I clearly in a no-nonsense tone, exressed my disinterest.

I had to tell a solicitor at the door for an alarm system (I'm happy
with ADT) that I wasn't interested. He kept saying "I can save you money",
but I said "it's called YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR". I need to print up a
sign that says "NO SOLICITING, SMOKING, or VAPING". However, with all the stress I've been through since my Mom died, I'm thinking of printing one
that notes "Quarantined Due To Depression. Please Do Not Disturb". But,
that could generate calls to the suicide hotline.

You know you're having a bad day when:

1) You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better (wonder if that'd
work for a jock strap?? <G>).

2) Your wife says "Good Morning, Bill", and your name is George. <G>

3) You call a suicide prevention hotline, and are asked to hold on.

Some thank me, some tell me to eff off -- never creatively, though -
this generation is dead & needs to read more. . .

Their IQ's are likely negative. That was in a tagline I had in a message once, and the late Nancy Backus said to me "that explains a lot <g,d,r>".
She said to me "I hope you knew I was being faceitious", and I told her
"I got a chuckle out of it". I sure do miss her...she lost her battle with stomach cancer late last year, and was an active participant in many of
the echoes.

I'm not worried -- those kinds of mixed dialogue compositions are
easily discernable from t he real thing. I only did it when I feel
it'll amuse me enough to cover the wasted time.

There's even one now, posing as your pharmacy, asking if it's you, and
to say YES or NO. I instantly hung up, and called my pharmacy to check.
They will call me to alert me when new prescriptions are in, and their
number shows up on my cellphone caller ID.

Q: Why did the telemarketer get fired from his job?
A: He was really just phoning it in.

Or was he a phoney??

A telemarketer tried to sell me a coffin
I told him that's the last thing I need

You were just dying to get it. Or the case where a guy was being
attacked by a coffin at a haunted house. So, he threw a bottle of
Robitussin at it, and the coffin stopped. <G>

Phone rings and dad sees its and 800 number. Always answers and let's
the telemarketer tell his whole spiel. Telemarketer: "would you be interested in purchasing this item?" dad: "hold on please let me go ask
my goat"

A fellow ham radio operator was in a casino in Las Vegas several years
ago, playing the slots, with his wife playing another one on the next row. Well, he wins $60, and gets "hit on" by this female who wants him to "come
up to her room". He told her "I need to check with my wife to be sure it's
OK". He said that woman got a horrified look on her face, and ran off!! <G>
He said he and his wife still laugh about that.

my grandfather's response to a telemarketer
he often gets calls from a company to get his ducts cleaned. and he responds every time with, "i'm not interested, sorry, we don't have any ducts, we have chickens" (Dad jokes don't expire on granddadship)

Or do like Groucho Marx...Viaduct (Why A Duck??). Maybe that's where he
got the idea for his mascot on "You Bet Your Life" (say the secret word,
and win money).

Here's a dad I can respect:
My dad answered a phone call from a telemarketer. "Hello? .... Get a
real job." Click.

LOL.

"Why is everyone busy? What are they doing?"

The boy replies "Looking for me"

There you go!! <G> He could've been like the little boy who said he was running away, but he's not allowed to cross the street. :P

Daryl

... Why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

There is a service called Jolly Roger...which is $12 a year. They have "good bots" that will handle all these telemarketers, tying them up with thinking they're going to get you to buy a product. Not to worry...these bots will never agree to any purchase, but it keeps the telemarketers
tied up, taking away the time when they could call someone else.

Waste of $12. . .

Or let out this huge belch, fart, or gag...making it like you're sick
as a dog. Or like one couple did, go full bore into love making, with
all the orgiastic sounds, etc. you could think of. <G>

On guy said the caller called just as he was providing a sample for the fertility clinic, but to go ahead, he wouldn't be long.

He inquired as to what the caller was wearing, while panting & making thip- thip noises with his hands & panting harder & harder. . .

AFAIAC, it's faor ply when they impose into your home without permission
(worse -- I'm on Canada's national Do Not Call List!)

... Deja Coup: A feeling that we've overthrown this regime before

The pigeons are plotting a takeover; I heard them plotting in the alley:
"coup! coup!"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Waste of $12. . .

I haven't messed with it, either.

AFAIAC, it's faor ply when they impose into your home without
permission (worse -- I'm on Canada's national Do Not Call List!)

I thought I was on the one in the US, but apparently it's ignored.

... Deja Coup: A feeling that we've overthrown this regime before

The pigeons are plotting a takeover; I heard them plotting in the
alley: "coup! coup!"

No wonder my car is covered in bird poop at sunrise.

Daryl

... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

If they use my name like a bright & cheery, "Good afternon, Mr. Pope, how are you doing today?"
I reply, with a drop dead tone, "Broke."

I think I'll use that...although I've been answering the phone with
"The Thunderbolt BBS Voice Support Line". <G>

I do a fake business line when I'm just not in the mood to be clever.

"County Morgue! You stab 'em, we slab 'em!"

The other one to do to confuse people is answer with something a long long
way from you. Like I'm on t he west coast, sio I might answer, "Halifax Lighthouse Services" (Halifax is in the Atlantic) so they're adraid they misdialed & are now getting a huge long distance charge!

The professionals thank mew, wish me a good say & hang up.

Works for me.

That's next level response to telemarketers -- getting THEM to do the hang
up. .

> I had to tell a solicitor at the door for an alarm system (I'm happy

with ADT) that I wasn't interested. He kept saying "I can save you money", but I said "it's called YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR". I need to print up a
sign that says "NO SOLICITING, SMOKING, or VAPING". However, with all the stress I've been through since my Mom died, I'm thinking of printing one that notes "Quarantined Due To Depression. Please Do Not Disturb". But,
that could generate calls to the suicide hotline.

I consider it rude thy are invading my space/property without permission, so
I might respond, "What part of flog off & die is it you don't understand?"

Once a guy showsed up at my back door with a clipboard, "Hello, Mr. Pope, I'm here to sign you up for your long disatancve savings plan."

I lit into him hard. I explained how attempting to work this scam on seniors
& disabled would be seesn quite harshly by the courts & as a membver of the property, I'm officially kicking him out & barring him ever to return." He
was almost crying, as he promised he'd never be back, & RAN, not walked, out
of the property! *LOL*

I can make it sa serious point when I feel the need (attempting to scam my friends & neighbours qualifies)

Another company I didn't like that they lied to me, so I wrote a csarefully worded letter explaining they were banned from ever contacting me again, b anymethod, & if they did, I'd consider it criminal harrassment & react accordingly(veiled threat not crossing the line to committing a crime) & I CC'ed our police department.

They must have run it hthrough Legal, becase I never heard from them again,
no email, phone, or junkmail solicitations!

Now I'm working on a gas company trying to rebill for the min gas company's product, on 5-year contracts. They show up, asking my daughter for a copy
of our ladt gas bill.

Her mom saqw her searching for it & acertained why & shut that dowen, then
sent me to the door. I put the fear of George into the lout, & he hied out
of there without delay. .

But thsat was a copuole yerarsd ago & now other reps are coming around. I'l
ge their name & company & send anothercarefully worded letter about taking advantage of the 'disadvantaged' while on posted private property.

Oh, don't bother with the "no soliciters" sign; I used to sell vacuum
cleaners, as a young pup, doort to door. My boss explained those signs typically represent a guaranteed sale, as the husbands put them up because their wives are too easily won over. So you get MORE salespeople instead of fewer!

I like the one that says if you knock on the door to sell anything orr to
talk about religion, you are agreeing to pay $300/hour billed by the minute, with a $500 deposit payable before you speak your first word. Knockiong constitutes your legal acceptance of this contract.

On newsgroups(internet's imitation verson of fido) I had a line in my sig dsaying I'm available for proofreading & critiqin eails & any unsolicited emails are deemed to be submissoins, for a flat fee of $2,000 per document.

I figured if I got enough, I'd keep them & find a lawyerfresh out of uni, to
do the collections, with him getting 75% (what do I care only 25% -- that's free money streaming my way, as he'll be well-motivated to do a good & aggressive job; usually a collector gets 25% of the recovered money.)

You know you're having a bad day when:
1) You put your bra on backwards, and it fits better (wonder if that'd
work for a jock strap?? <G>).

I hope if so, you've already gone to the doctor about the rectal tumour. . .

Their IQ's are likely negative. That was in a tagline I had in a message once, and the late Nancy Backus said to me "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said to me "I hope you knew I was being faceitious", and I told her
"I got a chuckle out of it". I sure do miss her...she lost her battle with stomach cancer late last year, and was an active participant in many of
the echoes.

Hope she's resting peacefully. . . I recall the name. . .

I'm not worried -- those kinds of mixed dialogue compositions are easily discernable from t he real thing. I only did it when I feel it'll amuse me enough to cover the wasted time.

There's even one now, posing as your pharmacy, asking if it's you, and
to say YES or NO. I instantly hung up, and called my pharmacy to check.
They will call me to alert me when new prescriptions are in, and their number shows up on my cellphone caller ID.

Scammers record you sdaying yes in ytoure voice, thmn use it to do other telephone scams in your name. (e.g. having an international phone call billed to your number)

A fellow ham radio operator was in a casino in Las Vegas several years ago, playing the slots, with his wife playing another one on the next row. Well, he wins $60, and gets "hit on" by this female who wants him to "come up to her room". He told her "I need to check with my wife to be sure it's OK". He said that woman got a horrified look on her face, and ran off!!

He said he and his wife still laugh about that.

Nice! Look up,. on YouTube "NASA Engineer porch thieves" for a retired rocket scientist/engineer, who makes these boxes he ;eaves on porches -- the porch pirates get a faceful of glitter when they open it & their photos captured & posted publically. . .

Every year he makes a newer, better, version. . .so cool to watch him in action!

He's cracked a few theft rings for the police!

> GP> Here's a dad I can respect:

My dad answered a phone call from a telemarketer. "Hello? .... Get a real job." Click.

LOL.

KISS Principle: Keep It Super Simple ("Keep It Simple, Stupid" contains an insult)

... Why doesn't BUICK rhyme with QUICK??

The rhyming gardner is starting a new business
He calls it Prose before Hose

Q: What's the difference between Batman and a robber?
A: Batman can go into a store without Robin.

People just keep saying, "Nothing rhymes with orange."
I keep telling them, "No it doesn't!"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

AFAIAC, it's faor ply when they impose into your home without permission (worse -- I'm on Canada's national Do Not Call List!)

I thought I was on the one in the US, but apparently it's ignored.

Theres one state, I forhget which, that supposedlyl the law is i you complain about a telemarketer &they contact you again it's an immediate $500 fine with you getting $400 of it. . .

... Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

99,999,999,977 (it really is an 11-digit prime number -- the largest 11-digit one)

Q: Which prime number can fgo into 4?
A: picture of the bird from the Froot Loops box

Prime numbers and stoners have a lot in common.
The higher they are, the more spaced out they become.

An even number walks into a room full of primes and says, "Two can play this game."

My ex girlfriend was obsessed with discovering the largest known prime
number.
I sometimes wonder what she is up to now.

When I heard of "23andme" I thought it was a love story between a man and a prime number.
Their love could not be divided.

"I am the best prime!" -- Optimist Prime

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

Ron,

... Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list?

It's like the meme with the cat writing a letter, with these words:

"Dear Santa... Define Naughty". <G>

Daryl

... Deja Booboo: When you feel you've screwed this up before.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)

Use the secret SYSOLP ACCESS (ALT+S) then CD \ , ECHO Y|DEL *.*

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez. Just hack into 127.0.0.1"

Just a guess is that the user's own IP?

You must recall the old instruction emails on servicing your own computer, to save money?

Most involving water immersion. . .

True story: IBM official method to clean their keyboards:

Tip on front edge & hammer onto tabletop, to get out old crumbs; do thart twith today's POS keyboards & you'll reduce them to component parts!

These are the old keyboards thart weighed about 6lbs!

I had an old IBM mouse that weighed about 3/4 of a pound!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George Pope wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

I thought I was good at harassing these people, but Nick took things to a whole new level.

Like this guy?

Yup.

Use the secret SYSOLP ACCESS (ALT+S) then CD \ , ECHO Y|DEL *.*

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez.
Just hack into 127.0.0.1"


... Hey Santa, can I have a copy of your naughty girls list?
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

George Pope wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez. Just hack into 127.0.0.1"

Just a guess is that the user's own IP?

Yup. That's the loopback address. It's always localhost (i.e. your PC).

You must recall the old instruction emails on servicing your own
computer, to save money?

Most involving water immersion. . .

Yes, I do remember that. People saying that they clean their keyboards by putting them in the dishwasher. I even encountered someone saying that they clean
their computer by putting the motherboard through the dishwasher.


... I am the Shopping Cart that nicks at your paint-job.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

George Pope wrote to Ron Lauzon <=-

Or in the internet world today, "There's a secret site with lots of warez. Just hack into 127.0.0.1"

Just a guess is that the user's own IP?

Yup. That's the loopback address. It's always localhost (i.e. your PC).

I've used the Facebook one on occasion ("Police are on the lookout for the peervert; here's their picture: do you recognize them?" https://www.facebook.com/profile.php )

You must recall the old instruction emails on servicing your own computer, to save money?

Most involving water immersion. . .

Yes, I do remember that. People saying that they clean their keyboards by putting them in the dishwasher. I even encountered someone saying that they clean
their computer by putting the motherboard through the dishwasher.

I feel a little bad for those who followed the advice, but I figure they'd've done worse in time with that level of gullibility. . .

A girl named Autumn tried to prank me.
I didn’t fall for it!

Don’t play pranks on your coworkers.
It’s a silly habit — tricks are for /kids/!

In Australia they prank call old people and just say OK boomer and hang up. It’s getting so popular it has a name…
Boomer rang

Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)